{"id":39228,"date":"2025-09-23T18:12:59","date_gmt":"2025-09-23T18:12:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/usdailys.com\/?p=39228"},"modified":"2025-09-23T18:15:08","modified_gmt":"2025-09-23T18:15:08","slug":"https-nypost-com-2025-09-23-lifestyle-erika-kirk-is-right-it-is-beautiful-and-empowering-to-be-your-husbands-helper-utm_sourcefacebookutm_mediumsocialutm_campaignnypostsr_sharefacebookfbcli","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/usdailys.com\/?p=39228","title":{"rendered":"Erika Kirk is right: It is beautiful \u2014 and empowering \u2014 to be your husband\u2019s helper"},"content":{"rendered":"

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On Sunday evening, Erika Kirk, the\u00a0widow of Charlie Kirk<\/a>,\u00a0spoke at his funeral service<\/a>\u00a0\u2014 and I found her words stunning for a number of reasons.<\/p>\n

That she found the courage, and the depth of faith,\u00a0to forgive her husband\u2019s killer<\/a>.<\/p>\n

That, despite her intense grief, she would take on the role of CEO at her husband\u2019s organization to continue his mission to save young Americans.<\/p>\n

That she would not waste the opportunity she had been given to speak to the country, calling on young men to \u201cembrace true manhood, be strong and courageous for your families, love your wives and lead them.\u201d<\/p>\n

And that she would call on women to be their husband\u2019s \u201chelper\u201d and to follow him \u2014 though she implored the men to ensure they were worthy of following.<\/p>\n

I know that to many women, and especially in this day and age where nearly 60% of women are in the labor force, her words \u2014 her vision for modern marriage \u2014 may feel like stepping back half a century.<\/p>\n

But to me, her words felt like a revelation. Empowering, even.<\/p>\n

\n
\"Erika5<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/div>
Erika Kirk called upon Americans to embrace a traditional form of marriage.AP<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Here was a woman sketching out a vision for marriage that my younger self might have scoffed at \u2014 yet today I find it not only appealing, but inspiring. In a world of endless choices and constant striving, the idea of a strong, courageous partner \u2014 and of being a worthy helper to such a man \u2014 resonates.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think I\u2019m alone.<\/p>\n

So many women are exhausted from \u201cdoing it all.\u201d The hunger for a lasting, committed partnership, and for a marriage that feels sacred, runs deeper than many modern women care to admit.<\/p>\n

God\u2019s vision for marriage \u2014 a Christian husband, a wife as helper \u2014 those were not words I grew up hearing. Raised in the secular mecca of San Francisco, it was rare that I heard about God, even less in the context of marriage. I grew up thinking that marriage is about equality. That a man and woman are meant to be partners and to share equally in the creation and support of a household. I believed that the Christian view of marriage was outdated and sexist \u2014 not to mention incongruous with the needs of a modern family.<\/p>\n

I always imagined myself in a marriage reflecting that approach and sought partners who, like me, believed in becoming \u201cequal.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
\"Erika5<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/div>
Erika Kirk recalls her marriage to her husband in a packed State Farm Stadium.Aristide Economopoulos<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

To my younger self, it was simple. Traditional marriage, bad; modern marriage, good. It never would have crossed my mind to seek guidance from the Bible \u2014 let alone God \u2014 on how to relate to my future spouse.<\/p>\n

In this context, a \u201cbiblical\u201d marriage was a direct counterpoint to the modern era. A direct assault, even.<\/p>\n

So why did I hear Erika Kirk\u2019s words on Monday morning and begin to cry?<\/p>\n

Because she spoke truth to something I believe so many women and men now feel. There is something deeply powerful and compelling about the way the Bible (or the Torah, as I, a Jewish woman, call it) speaks about marriage.<\/p>\n

Going deeper, I went to my Torah. At the service, Erika spoke of people who last week opened a Bible for the first time in a decade. I am one of them. After watching a few hours of her speeches last weekend, I concluded that it was completely unacceptable that I had not read from the Bible at home since my bat mitzvah.<\/p>\n

So I went and bought myself two.<\/p>\n

And it\u2019s worth going over what the Bible says about marriage. It comes up early, in the story of Adam and Eve: \u201cGod said, \u2018It is not good that man be alone; I will make him a helper corresponding to him.\u201d And further: \u201cA man shall leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.\u201d<\/p>\n

That term, \u201chelper,\u201d takes a lot of heat. Many will say it demeans a woman, that rather than be a \u201chelper\u201d to her husband, she should be an equal.<\/p>\n

However, it isn\u2019t quite so simple.<\/p>\n

\n
\"Charlie5<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/div>
Erika and Charlie Kirk were married since May 2021.Instagram\/mrserikakirk<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

As Erika argued, a wife\u2019s role is not that of a subservient subject, but rather a source of strength and partnership. Many rabbis, in analyzing the Hebrew word for \u201chelper\u201d \u2014 \u201cezer\u201d \u2014 note that the same word is used to describe God later in Psalms. To them, \u201chelper\u201d connotes a \u201cdivine-like\u201d support.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour wife is not your servant,\u201d she said. \u201cYour wife is not your employee. Your wife is not your slave. She is your helper. You are not rivals. You are one flesh working together for the glory of God.\u201d<\/p>\n

In a society where we argue daily, sometimes even viciously, about \u201cwhat is a woman,\u201d there is something profoundly grounding \u2014 and clarifying \u2014 about this view of womanhood, manhood and marriage. Man and woman as one flesh. Woman as divine helper. Man as protector and provider.<\/p>\n

Together, as one flesh, they accomplish more as a team than they could alone.<\/p>\n

\n
\"Erika5<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/div>
Erika Kirk wipes away tears during the funeral service on Sunday.AFP via Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I grew up in a culture steeped in feminism. One where women were encouraged to pursue careers, change the world, and never rely on a man.\u00a0Feminism promised women freedom. What many found, however, was loneliness.<\/p>\n

Gen Z is expected\u00a0to become the most unmarried<\/a>, childless generation in American history; Charlie Kirk fought actively against that. Marriage, he believed, could be an antidote to isolation, mental illness and spiritual drift.\u00a0Charlie, as he found in Bible teachings, believed that man should not be alone. That man can benefit from a divine helper. He had that in Erika. As she explained during Sunday\u2019s service, Charlie\u00a0wrote her a love note every Saturday and ended it with, \u201cHow can I better serve you as a husband?\u201d<\/p>\n

What a beautiful and profound ritual \u2014 writing to one\u2019s spouse words of gratitude and devotion.<\/p>\n

As my dad likes to say, \u201cNobody ever feels too appreciated.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
\"Charlie5<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/div>
The Kirks are shown together at a Turning Point event; she has taken over as CEO of the organization.Instagram\/mrserikakirk<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In some secular circles, words like\u00a0devotion<\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0servitude<\/em>\u00a0are treated like four-letter words. But today I don\u2019t believe they are so bad. And are they actually at odds with feminism? After all, Erika is no wallflower. She is educated, entrepreneurial, a podcaster and political influencer \u2014 and now she steps into the CEO role of a nationwide organization.<\/p>\n

What she and her husband have argued in support of is marriage as two people devoted to one another, even in service to one another.<\/p>\n

To me, that is beautiful and worth aspiring to. That vision does not preclude professional success \u2014 it strengthens it.<\/p>\n

Together, Erika and Charlie Kirk were stronger, and they believed deeply that it is not good to be alone.<\/p>\n

That we all need help \u2014 and consequently\u00a0helpers<\/em>\u00a0\u2014 both divine and mortal.<\/p>\n

Michelle Tandler is a writer and commentator on politics, culture and New York City. She can be found on X at\u00a0@MichelleTandler<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    On Sunday evening, Erika Kirk, the\u00a0widow of Charlie Kirk,\u00a0spoke at his funeral service\u00a0\u2014 and I found her words stunning for a number of reasons. That she found the … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":39227,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/usdailys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39228","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/usdailys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/usdailys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usdailys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usdailys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=39228"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/usdailys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39228\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39230,"href":"https:\/\/usdailys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39228\/revisions\/39230"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usdailys.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/39227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/usdailys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=39228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usdailys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=39228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usdailys.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=39228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}